Monday, September 20, 2010

Nursery: the hidden upside

Who knew there was an upside to nurseries? Certainly not me when I had to take Louis last Friday morning. It was always going to be tough, my first drop off after nearly a three-week break, and it was. Tearful, he clung, begging to be picked up for "one more cuddle", his plea of desperation for when the going gets really tough. Like at bedtime. It didn't help that his new "key worker" had a day off and there was another new face in the room. Somehow I managed to peel him off and make my escape, his "I want my mummy" refrain ringing in my ears for the rest of the day.

How could I do it? I couldn't stop thinking how wrong it felt for all that a) it's only two days a week, b) it's actually a very nice nursery and I know he's lucky to have a place there, and c) aren't they supposed to teach even toddlers useful skills such as socialising, etc, etc? And yes I'm assured he calms down once I have left, although he does spend the day asking after me. (And Daddy J, I'm sure.)

But then today it struck me. The upside. I don't have to worry that he prefers someone else. Not for us, the scene last week when a friend's toddler was cuddling her childminder when her mum was in the room. Or at playgroup today when one mum had to watch her two year old toddle off after the nanny he shares with another boy. Louis is mine, all mine! And I can stop worrying about the parade of new faces at nursery.


Sandy Calico said...

Yes! You're spot on. My eldest is a Daddy's boy, but hearing him cry 'I want my mummy' at the nursery drop off means he loves me too! there is a silver lining :-)

Amodernmother said...

Yes that's the upside, the downside being the germ factory!!! childcare is a bitch.

Bermondsey mum said...

I'm not trying to burst anyone's bubble here but what matters is secure loving relationships for the child's emotional development. Good nurseries provide this as do one-to-one provision such as childminder or nanny but the key is allowing those relationships to develop because much as it hurts us as mums, it's the child's emotional well-being that matters. Also from someone out the other end ie both now in school, they never actually forget who is Mummy or Daddy.

nmaha said...

I know my daughter was the same. Now she's 2+ and totally enjoys play school, however, she makes it very clear that she's only going because I have to go to office 'like a good girl'.