Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Mea culpa: or what happens when someone reads what you've written

Odd thing, blogging: one minute it's just you, your sofa and a keyboard; the next someone half way round the world has read what you've written. Which shouldn't surprise me; after all, I make a (so-called) living writing for a national newspaper. And yet, when I got pulled up for something I'd written on bwb some months ago, it came as rather a shock to know I actually did have followers. Especially when it turned out they were somewhat closer to home than California.

So close to home, in fact, that the something I got taken to task about concerned Louis' nursery and some somewhat glib remarks I'd made about the torture that was leaving him there. (And when I say *torture*, I don't actually mean torture in a strict thumbscrew sense on the offchance I offend the same follower again; I'm exaggerating for something I believe is called poetic license, not that I'm claiming to be a poet.) Turns out, someone who knew Louis, read this blog, and, I'm guessing, knew of me, was so *worried* about me after reading a couple of my posts that instead of asking if I was okay, she - and apparently it was another mum - thought it best to show the offending posts to the head of the nursery because clearly they "had a real problem". Not with Louis; with me.

Never mind that this all blew up just as he was (finally) truly settling in. Or that it made me feel terrible, because inevitably the nursery then worried that I thought badly of them, when nothing could have been further from the truth. The only thing I felt bad about was me for dumping him there, which is a working mother's prerogative, after all. The one constant about Louis' nursery was how lovely the staff are, yet my throwaway remarks had made them feel bad. And me feel even worse.

Which I explain not for want of having something to blog about, but partly as a mea culpa for the original comments but also by way of explanation (if anyone was curious) as to why it's been nearly three months (three months?? where does time go) since I've last written a post. And for the record, an older and wiser Louis is loving nursery right now, which I'd love to report helps to ease that maternal guilt, but I'm not sure it does.

8 comments:

PantsWithNames said...

So pleased Louis is happy at nursery - but also a good warning to us bloggers that what we write can be read by everybody!

Babies who brunch said...

Quite! Really don't understand why it came as such a surprise. Bit worried even writing just that. But I have missed blogging....

Sally said...

Gosh, it's a really good point - I do sometimes want to vent a bit about Flea's school but tend to worry that someone, somewhere might see it (and by someone, I mean her teacher).

It's so easy to think we're anonymous online, isn't it?

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Great that he's settled in

Beautifully passive agressive action by that person, why not raise it with you? Why create a big fuss by sharing it with nursery? Why not act like an adult?

My view around my blog is I write what I write because I write it for me - if others choose to read they do so at their own risk (mostly of far TMI) and on the understanding that they really shouldn't go off and make a fuss about things

solveig said...

Crikey, that would scare me off blogging for a while too! I have a 'what would I think if mother read this' rule on my blog, but hadn't really thought too much about the things like parents who children go to my children's school, people I work with etc. I always assume no one reads it!

Iota said...

I've had my fingers very badly burnt on the "you never know who reads your blog" issue. I'm cringeing just thinking about it now...

But surely if the point you were making was that it was torture for you (ie all that maternal stuff), then there's no issue? Every nursery knows that mothers have those feelings. Mind you, I haven't checked back. Did you say something dreadful about the nursery too?

And I agree with Muddling Along Mmmy - why go behind your back to the nursery? That's just trouble making.

Babies who brunch said...

@Sally: I always thought I was careful NOT to vent....!

@Muddling: Thanks for your comment. My thoughts exactly.

@Solveig: I definitely assume no one reads it - and try to keep what I write in check anyway....

@Iota: It was just that torture bit; nothing dreadful, just a couple of tongue in cheek things that I'd hyped up that didn't go down brilliantly. Removed now....

Mrs. said...

eek!

glad you are back.