Sunday, January 18, 2009

Wee the people

                                   The Johns

If the rumbling of hooves usually signals the arrival of the hordes in the Wild West, in downtown DC it's the silent but no less threatening appearance of hundreds of portaloos on the National Mall. Row upon row of "Don's Johns" now line the banks of the Reflecting Pool and beyond. And what a happy addition to the neo-classical monuments that adorn the city's biggest green space they are too. For these makeshift restrooms - a "Great Wall of Privies" according to today's Washington Post - will provide welcome relief for the crowds come Tuesday. 

We're talking 7,000-plus portable toilets, turning the Mall into the largest temporary restroom in American history. Heck, if Don's Johns and his portaloo compatriots Johnny Blue, Mr John and Johnny on the Spot get their act together, I-Day could go down in toilet annals as the largest temporary restroom in the history of the world. (Germany holds the existing record at 8,000 for some event involving the Pope.) The temporary toilets will get a "not so dry run" tomorrow, reports the Post, when hundreds of thousands are expected to crowd into the Mall for the Bruce Springsteen et al inaugural concert that will kick off PEBO's inauguration festivities. 

But in attempting to get to the bottom of the biggest logistical headache to confront I-day organisers, the Post's piece leaves its youngest readers wanting. It makes no mention of any possible diaper changing options - and trust me, changing a diaper is not something you want to tackle in your standard portaloo. Frankly, it's discrimination against the potty-challenged. Perhaps Babieswhobrunch could start a class action. This is America, after all. 

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